Off to University

I am alone,
Not in its dignified sense of loneliness
Nor in its truest sense.
But I am alone
In a different way,
In a more delicate and novice way.
I thought I knew what such a feeling felt,
Yet now I realize
I was too naive to consider such a bittersweet feeling.
Is this independence
Or perhaps the illusion of it?
At once I enjoy it and then
With no warning I despise it.
There’s much to discover;
I am only at the beginning of whatever this may be.

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Machine Days

This reset is taking longer than I expected it to,
What do I do?
Do I go back to what has become of my life, or
Do I go back to what it was,
Which I know is downright impossible, or
Do I go to something new?
I am here,
With one day bleeding into another,
With dreams and ambitions no more,
I am not sure
What kind of living it would be,
What kind of life has it become.
Perhaps a nap is all
I need to settle it all,
To sort out the mess scattered within.
Do I need a break from my break?
Maybe a reset for a reset?

coffee

​You know, coffee, it’s just the best thing.

Brew it at home, buy it at the store, get it elsewhere,

It just is the best thing.

I love it when I set out on a walk –

Cross the street, buy a cup,

Let the warmth fill the hands,

And as I go about with each step

My mind strolls while I take a sip.

Fuel for my thoughts,

Liquid courage for my imagination,

I hope I don’t get addicted.

balance

Balance,
That’s what you’re looking for.
Your mind, your heart, call it your soul,
It wavers,
From one end to the other
Scraping away at what you are.
With one extreme undoing the other
You’re losing yourself in yourself.

At once you’re right,
At the same you’re wrong.
You don’t need anyone else
To shoot you in the foot,
You do it to yourself
Over and over and over again.

Peace,
All you want to do
Is find some inner peace
Before the war that rages within
Consumes and leaves you lifeless.

MOUNTAIN

 

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I am here,
Looking back at
The mountain that had stood before me.
Even as I step forward,
I cannot help but look back at
The mountain that soars above the clouds.
I cannot tell
If I ever reached the top,
Wandering and climbing
Through thick clouds.
Every path was wrong,
Every path was right,
The beauty of life’s nature,
A burden, a birthright.
Somehow I am here,
Walking away from something
So immeasurable, so significant.
My path begun anew
Leads to a new challenge,
My burden, my birthright.

RENEW

You have given me
A beautiful gift,
Which I once thought was lost.
One that I had shelved
And perhaps forgotten.
It is
A most powerful feeling,
A subtle form,
I shall cherish and nurture it
While it lasts.
And the next time
I find it again
It will be potent as ever,
This process of creation.

REMIND

A coherent thought is what I seek,
And though I have not attained
Which I desire,
Your words have revealed to me
A long lost love,
Truly a treasure.
A focus newfound
And a joy familiar,
It is truly a pleasure
To free these words
And fall into the ether.